i dun noe how long i can keep my cool still. i dun noe when isit that i will finally say thats it. thats enough. and just let it all out. just because im always on e defensive u keep going at me. time and time again. but everytime when i think that im reaching my limit i somehow squeeze more out of my tolerance levels. all u do is to demean my character. to make me sound like im like the worst ever shit on earth. and no matter wad i say u refuse to listen. u just come to ur own conclusions and u hold by them. u never bothered to look at things from my point of view. from my life or from my angle. u just see things e way that u do in ur own privileged point of view. i wanted so much to buy a new computer today. but that would mean an extra 50 bucks of expenditure every month. and i tot of how u are already calling me kiamsiap now. imagine if i have fifty bucks lesser. one eighth of my allowance. but yet at the same time u get irritaed when my com shuts down when im toking to u on msn. wad can i do srsly. and at the very same time u want me to be able to get data plan to tok to u online in camp. and on top of that u want me to be able to give u gifts. further on top of that u expect me to pay every single time we go out. how do i do all of those. ALTOGETHER?
do u srsly care about whether or not im happy? whetheror not my life is going on fine. whether or not im able to at least keep myself comfortable? every single of my possesions are falling apart. first its my com. now my earphones. sooon my mp3 i guess.
isit just me? mayb its just myfault. cos everyone else gets some form of sacrifice from their girlfrens. some ppl say they are broke from treating. but their girlfrens treat them back. some ppl say their girlfrens insist on treating at times. some girlfrens even spam their boyfrens wif gifts. all except mine? mine says im stingy when i cant go out. says im stingy when i dun have enough money. says im stingy when my wallet runs out of money cos i only bring 20 bucks. so mayb its my problem. but im asking for none of this. all i want is for u to take note that im already trying. for u to be the least bit appreciative of my efforts. for u to allow me to work within my own limits. but no. u make me out to be kiamsiap. sometimes the things u say just leak wif sacarsm. to e extent of making fun of me. wad do i do abt it? nothing. i maintain my silence. desperately trying not to tip e delicate balance. i keep it within me. and when i finally said that ur hurting me. wad was ur response? u continued. u didnt stop. u just went on and on. about me being stingy. u didnt even stop for a second to consider if u were really hurting me. who really did stop to look at things from my perspective. who really did stop to see things as they happen to me in my life? who ever stopped to make sure im happy? who ever stopped to even think about whether im happy? did you? im hurting everytime i think of how u insult me. how u demean my character. IM HURTING. DO YOU KNOW? DO YOU EVEN CARE? i feel so much like crying. or just breaking down. i dun care if all of these came from someone else. but of all ppl it has to come from you. and despite telling you to stop it. u never do...