One month plus on. I think right now im in the correct mood to write this. All the fucked up things in my life have been documented here and hence i think this ought to as well. This wasnt written earlier becos i believed taht i wasnt in the right moood for it. i wanted this to be as objective as possible.

Hence i took time to think abt things. To think over everything all the way right from the start. Right now i can probably safely say that i am enjoying every moment of my single life. Our separation was something that would have occured anyway. If not then, it would have been sometime in the forseeable future. The conclusion taht i got from all this time spent thinking was that you never really did fall in love with me. Instead, you fell in love with love. That was the only sound reason that i could have drawn from the many things that you have said and done. Like the agreement to break up before you left for studies. in your exact words, anytime i want. I should have done it then and there. Thinking back i was stupid enuf to hold on to something that was non-existant back then. It is also probably the only reason why you never did bother about how i was doing. Whether or not i am cracking under emotional stress and financial crisis. Because of you i developed strained relations with my family. I found myself struggling to pay for my own expenditure as well as yours. But yet you never sought to understand me. You never really bothered to show me true concern. Instead all you could do was to say that i was stingy. That i wasnt able to contribute to ur shopping funds or buy you expensive gifts like your friend's boyfren does. You never really bothered about me. Whatever i did was taken for granted. I wasnt appreciated. IS that the way love is supposed to be? Wasnt it supposed to be treating the other party wif respect, if not putting them at first priority always? I was never a boyfriend. More of a friend with benefits. You loved yourself more than you loved me. Or maybe you never did because in my opinion, you fell in love wif love. not with me.

And hence we separated. And now it feels like a relief. At that moment of breakup i didnt know wad to do. But it never did hurt as bad as the last time. Maybe becos halfway through i realised the relationship was a poisonous one. Maybe becos I have already realised that you are'nt the right one for me. Or maybe because i have already prepared myself well for such a day. But whatever it is, i feel so much happier right now. Single and enjoying my single life. I realised that there isnt a point in holding on to a girl who doesnt love you. A girl who depsite supposedly being my girlfriend, never once did tell me that she loved me. You chose to exit from my life. And now i can gladly say that i have let you go. You probably never ought to have been in but whatever the case, i finally see the light.